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5 tips for a successful self-spanking

The adage, ‘Necessity is the mother of invention’ came to mind for me while watching He Wouldn’t Spank Me because I absolutely relate to the plight of needing a sound spanking and not having someone to give it to me. Pandora’s monologue that opens the video plays out as a tell-all of a dud of a weekend with an underwhelming spanko. Where he has failed, Pandora ultimately triumphs by administering an impressive self-spanking, complete with hairbrush and wooden ruler to round out the variety of sensations, sounds and marks. 

Pandora Blake needs a spanking at Dreams of Spanking

I myself have self-spanked on many occasions when feeling dire and desirous of that certain sort of sting, when nothing else will do, when simply touching and thinking are not enough. I personally enjoy it and find it very different than being spanked by a partner. It’s a bit of a mind fuck to strike yourself in pleasure, more so even than being struck by someone else. I suppose it’s the dual sensation of one’s bottom warming and burning with each strike, in combination with one’s hand getting more and more fatigued. 

Pandora Blake needs a spanking at Dreams of Spanking

Here are 5 things to consider if you want to try a successful self-spanking: 

Plan ahead
Nothing is less sexy than getting interrupted or having to stop playing because you don’t have the right toys or tools at hand. If you’re experimenting with self-spanking, plan ahead so that you have the privacy (if desired) and comfort, as well as implements, that you want and need.

Seduce yourself
If you’re new to self-spanking, consider it like any other private pleasure activity: it will be better if you’re good and ready for it. Do whatever you need to get in the mood, whether that’s watching hot spanking porn like He Wouldn’t Spank Me, or any of your other favourite Dreams of Spanking pieces, a sensual bubble bath, or getting turned on with your favourite toy(s).  

Pandora Blake strokes their spanked bottom and thighs Dreams of Spanking

Take it slow
A good spanking requires some warm up, so start with small swats and taps on top of underpants or light pajamas, playing with the speed, intensity and frequency. It’s not a race, and you needn’t have a goal in mind, simply try different things and pay attention to how everything feels. Once your skin is warm to the touch, try again on bare skin. 

Variety is the spice of spanking
There are so many options with spanking: under or over clothes, barehanded or with implements, hard and punishing or soft and sensual. Barehanded, with a ruler or hairbrush, like Pandora used in He Wouldn’t Spank Me or a light shoe or slipper are great household items to try. Self-spanking is a great way to explore what excites you about spanking but stick to the meaty spots like thighs and buttocks. Avoid bony places like ribs and joints, your lower back and kidneys and your spine. Self-spanking is not for everyone, so if you try it and it’s not quite right for you, that’s okay too! 

Pandora Blake fucks themselves with a hairbrush after a sexy self-spanking at Dreams of Spanking

After Care is Self Care 
Impact play, even if it wasn’t too physically taxing, should be followed up by after care, and if you’re self-spanking that means taking time to cool down and rest a bit when you’re finished. Cool compresses and lotion can be very soothing to spanked bottoms and a cup of tea or other warm drink can help you relax and unwind. 

Although entirely different, without the ritualised connection of someone else spanking you, self-spanking can be a wonderful way to experiment with your limits in spanking, both giving and receiving. Much like masturbation can help us learn about our body’s pleasure at our own pace, self-spanking can be a great way to safely learn what about spanking you like or need. As with any pain or physical play, start small and work your way up to a pleasurable level of intensity, respecting your limits and playing within them.    

It's coming...

After a quiet year, I have some big news.

Chelsea Poe and Blake in queer porn film Velvet Touch

I filmed this scene in March with queer porn stars Chelsea Poe and Courtney Trouble. Here's what I wrote after the shoot:

I’m stretching my creative wings again with some new queer porn collaborations. Last weekend I filmed a scene with Courtney Trouble and Chelsea Poe with me and Chelsea performing together, which was a dream come true. I have a massive porn crush on Chelsea and we had so much fun. Our scene was (of course!) very kinky and involved butch/femme dynamics, spanking, flogging, makeouts, Chelsea making me squirt everywhere with her fingers and tongue (she kept asking me to cum on her tits, which I’ve never done before - it was very horny) and me sitting on and fucking her face with my cock until we were both drenched in jizz. Chelsea had to hop in the shower afterwards to rinse my cum out of her hair. It was so great to connect with her and I hope we get to work together again.

Courtney, who was our videographer, was so great to work with and made everything super easy. They were warm, sweet and welcoming, delightfully enthusiastic about my gender expression, and helped me get over my nerves. I stopped getting regular pre-shoot anxiety ages ago, but it was a bit scary shooting with two porn icons whom I’ve admired from afar for years. I’m so so glad to have worked with them both and can’t wait to release the finished scene, which is a collaboration and will be distributed through QueerPorn.tv, Dreams of Spanking and other channels.

It's coming. And so are we...

Chelsea Poe and Blake in queer porn film Velvet Touch

Orgasm control and what feels natural

A couple of weeks ago, when I had the pleasure of introducing you to Zak Jane Keir and Charlie Forrest’s style of loving dominance, there was something pretty significant I was holding back: the ending.

Part one was a gorgeous sensual spanking – with all the kissing, touching and caressing that makes me fall in love with spanking videos that feature real-life BDSM play partners. But I was also itching to tell you about part two…

I held back from revealing too much of what (and who) comes in part 2. There are so many moments of hotness: Charlie’s straining erection, aching desire, and that subtle gasp-moan as he tries not to come. Sometimes it’s hard to hold back, but I managed it, so today I get to talk to you about the second part of Zak and Charlie’s scene, and the beauty of orgasm control.

Femdom orgasm control in Please, Mistress at Dreams of Spanking

Orgasm control is one of those kinks that I feel everyone must understand. Regardless of whether they participate in it, the key lust triggers are things that most sexual people have experienced at some point in their life. The look on the face of someone who is desperate to orgasm, or the throbbing sensation in your own cock or cunt as you’re balanced precariously on the edge. At points wondering if you’ll be able to restrain yourself or you’ll just explode everywhere.

The second part of Charlie and Zak’s scene captures all of this – much of it through Zak’s eyes. We get her point of view, looking down or up at Charlie’s face as he bites his lip. We get lingering, delicious close-ups of his cock, which is rock-solid and twitching in anticipation of permission.

“Please may I come, mistress?”

That phrase is loaded with so much – especially in light of the playful way Zak’s been teasing Charlie with her hands, mouth, and breasts. It’s not just a polite request, or a ritual, or an impassioned plea: it’s also performative. Charlie knows, even in the moment when he’s so turned on he has to rush to get the words out all in one quick breath, that he has a role to play too. His role is to come exactly when – and only when – Zak allows it.

Femdom orgasm control in Please, Mistress at Dreams of Spanking

But the beauty of Zak and Charlie’s style of loving dominance is that orgasm control doesn’t have to follow the strict (and samey) roles that you’d expect from mainstream porn: he begs, she says no, he comes anyway, she beats him. Or from a Top 10 Ways To Dominate Someone advice guide: tease, deny, let him come explosively, then reward him afterwards. No, Zak pushes Charlie through one explosive orgasm, as he moans and screws his face up at the cathartic feeling of pleasure and failure. And then… she comforts him and consoles with the same soft words and gentle admonishment that you’d expect from a partner who knew their lover well.

Orgasm control is often something that you think of in one particular way: we know the rules and how it goes, and expect certain things. But Zak and Charlie have a natural flow, and their natural flow seems to come not from a standard checklist of things to do or say, but from what feels utterly right to them in the moment. Yesterday Charlie wrote an incredible blog post – about belonging and not belonging, and how his experience shooting porn with Zak and Pandora made him feel.

“I felt indestructible after that, a feeling that what we'd done was something I could be truly proud of. I was filled with the idea of a sort of defiant vulnerability, if that makes sense? Because in that moment I was utterly unapologetically me. Not the cleaned up compromised presentable version, but me as I am.”

Femdom orgasm control in Please, Mistress at Dreams of Spanking

Defiant vulnerability is such a brilliant way to put it. The way Charlie looks when Zak pushes him through his first orgasm, and even as she contemplates wringing a second out of his trembling body. I won’t spoil the surprise as to whether that happens, because the incredible thing about Zak and Charlie is that whatever unfolds, it all feels natural. From the initial teasing and sensual spanks right through to orgasm – somehow not what you expect, but so perfect that when it happens you know it’s exactly right.

Sorry, I’ve gone on about it there in probably far too much detail when I’m sure you’re itching to just watch the awesome, orgasmic scene already. Like I said at the beginning, though: sometimes it's hard to hold back.

I now have a huge crush on Zahra Stardust

If you’ve read Pandora’s updates from the Feminist Porn Awards in Toronto, you’ll already know a bit about Zahra Stardust. Sexual activist, champion pole dancer, and scorchingly hot porn star, Zahra’s been making waves all across the world. This year, she won ‘Heart Throb of the Year’ at the Feminist Porn Awards (very shortly after this shooting this scene, in fact!) and it’s clearly well deserved, because having been introduced to her through this orgasmic spanking film I have a massive crush on her myself. 

Click to view trailer for Spanking Zahra Stardust

Zahra Stardust is utterly gorgeous, with beautiful piercings, tattoos, hot pink hair and a delightfully filthy grin - dressed in sheer knickers and a pink latex microskirt, I can see why Pandora was so excited to take her over the knee.

She's not just a pretty face, but an exceptional activist too - she’s run for parliament three times in her home country of Australia, and is currently doing a PhD on pornography.

Zahra's mission is to change the world, one orgasm at a time. Through artistic porn depicting authentic queer sexuality and female pleasure, her work celebrates consent, bruises and bodily fluids, and self-deterministic representation. And in this spanking video, with a firm helping hand from Pandora, some slow and hard strokes with the strap, and her Hitachi Magic Wand, she does just that.

An orgasmic queer spanking for Zahra Stardust at Dreams of Spanking

I think one of the things I love most about Zahra is that when you watch her you get these amazing hot kicks of lust at each moment when she expresses pleasure. She’s never stoic or silent: she gasps and sighs with arousal, gripping the pillows tightly as the strap bites into her flesh, with blissful smiles and happy moans when she’s being pleasured in just the right way.

An orgasmic queer spanking for Zahra Stardust at Dreams of Spanking

This scene isn’t just a spanking (although of course there are plenty of opportunities to admire Zahra’s gorgeous bum as she gets spanked through sheer knickers and in just a tantalising pearl thong), it’s the build-up to an explicit and delicious orgasm. We get to watch Pandora squeeze and touch Zahra all over, see what she loves and how she reacts to the spanking sensations she was so curious about. And for those who - like me - enjoy a bit of consensual choking and breath play, the climax to Spanking Zahra Stardust is off the end of the hotness scale.

An orgasmic queer spanking for Zahra Stardust at Dreams of Spanking

Behind the scenes on a feminist porn set

I had a very pleasant surprise the other day when Girl on the Net sent me this link - Check Out The Trailer For "Instructed" With Pandora Blake.

To say I am stoked to be featured on Fleshbot is an understatement. This is one of those career-defining moments - something I never thought would happen to a performer working in a very niche, kinky corner of the porn industry. I don't think it would have happened if I hadn't been collaborating with a famous feminist porn pioneer. Thank you Ms Naughty!

Speaking of Instructed, the behind the scenes videos are now online. There are three in total - pre-shoot and post-shoot interviews, plus the outtakes from filming. A BBC journalist was present on this shoot, and this is your chance to see what he saw and go behind the scenes on the filming of a feminist porn film. To show you just how much fun I was having, I've made some exclusive Dreams of Spanking screengrabs from our behind the scenes videos. Enjoy!

Behind the scenes with Pandora Blake on a feminist porn set Behind the scenes with Pandora Blake on a feminist porn set
Behind the scenes with Pandora Blake on a feminist porn set Behind the scenes with Pandora Blake on a feminist porn set
Behind the scenes with Pandora Blake on a feminist porn set Behind the scenes with Pandora Blake on a feminist porn set
Behind the scenes with Pandora Blake on a feminist porn set Behind the scenes with Pandora Blake on a feminist porn set
Behind the scenes with Pandora Blake on a feminist porn set Behind the scenes with Pandora Blake on a feminist porn set

Members can view all three behind the scenes videos at the scene page. I've also uploaded the pre-shoot interview (i.e. the only one in which I was wearing clothes) to YouTube - check it out:

I'm still a bit in love with "Instructed", and I think this collaborative feminist porn film is my best work to date. If you haven't seen it yet, go watch it now and let me know what you think!

Dominance, submission and trust dynamics

Pandora Blake and D in Instructed - sexy dominance and submission at Dreams of Spanking

A long time ago I had a partner who would tell me to do scary things. Not 'jumping off a bridge' scary things, but sexually scary things – stuff I'd never have thought to do on my own.

“Bend over. Spread yourself. Wait there.”

Those were just his words, though. What he was actually saying was “do you trust me? If you trust me I can do things you've never even thought about before.”

I'd wait, shaking with anticipation and delight, with no clue what he was going to do next. When he came back, with ice, or ginger, or something deviously sadistic with which to torment me, I'd shiver with pleasure – glad that I waited, glad I stayed still. Glad that I'd trusted him.

It's a rare and delicious treat to watch this dynamic played out elsewhere – couples who can experiment within that safety net of trust, and let you in on some of the incredibly hot, filthy games that they play.

Click to view trailer for Instructed

'Instructed' is all about that. Not only is it Pandora's most explicit film to date (I don't want to spoil it for you, but think anal play and a phenomenally hot on-camera orgasm), it's also a genuinely gorgeous film that lets us in on one of those trust games of dominance and submission.

If you're a regular reader, you'll know the concept already – we've been so excited about this scene we've been trailing it for a while. Pandora is in a hotel, with written instructions from D. He can't be with her til later that evening, so meanwhile he sets wheels in motion to dominate her from afar – sending a letter that orders her to strip, fondle her breasts while she watches herself in the mirror, and administer a self-spanking with a heavy wooden clothesbrush. The rest? Well, I'll let you see for yourself...

Pandora Blake and D in Instructed - sexy dominance and submission at Dreams of Spanking
Pandora Blake and D in Instructed - sexy dominance and submission at Dreams of Spanking

The gorgeous thing about this short film (apart from Pandora – in stockings and fetish heels, on all fours on the bed, she looks filthily hot) is that it so perfectly captures the chemistry between D and Pandora. D doesn't appear in the film, but listening to his instructions in voiceover – calm, quietly growling tones which had me squirming in my seat – you can feel Pandora's anticipation and excitement about following his every command. As Pandora herself explained, you should watch this “if you like gravelly-voiced dominant men with London accents telling you to do filthy, filthy things.” I suspect I'm not the only one for whom that instantly appeals.

Pandora Blake and D in Instructed - sexy dominance and submission at Dreams of Spanking
Pandora Blake and D in Instructed - sexy dominance and submission at Dreams of Spanking

But the best thing by far is the demonstration of how achingly, stickily arousing that level of trust can be. This film was genuinely spontaneous on Pandora's part. She knew the outline – that she'd be given instructions to follow – but she had no idea what would be in D's letter until the moment she opened it in front of the camera. He'd clearly thought long and hard about what she'd enjoy, what he'd like to see, and the best way to build her arousal to a stunning, unique, and boundary-testing experience.

He said 'do you trust me?' and she answered with a wholehearted 'yes.' The results are spectacular.

Pandora Blake and D in Instructed - sexy dominance and submission at Dreams of Spanking


Additional: if you enjoyed this film please do share the scene page with like-minded others! If you share it on Twitter before midnight tonight, you can win one month's membership to Dreams of Spanking.

Spanking and orgasms

I'm both nervous and excited to share our latest film, which shows what I fantasise about as I bring myself to my first ever orgasm on video! My Inner Little Girl dips between fantasy and reality, combining an erotic solo masturbation scene with an F/F age play spanking fantasy, complete with little white socks, kicking, crying and the hairbrush.

This 17 minute film is accompanied by 60 high definition screengrabs, and also Tammy's Shame, a new photo gallery which illustrates Tamora's fantasy.

Click to view trailer for My%20Inner%20Little%20Girl

My Inner Little Girl

Tamora is a high-powered businesswoman. She loves her work, but it's a lot of responsibility. Back home after a long day, she unwinds by putting on school uniform, and reconnecting with her inner little girl.

In her fantasies, Tammy is helpless, told what to wear, what to do, and spanked if she disobeys. The thought of being taken over the knee and spanked soundly on her bare bottom until she kicks and cries just turns her on so much. It's the perfect escape from the stress of grown up life - and a sure way to a very real, very pleasurable orgasm.

And along with our photogallery Ms Howard's Little Girl, here's a bit more of a peek into the spanking of Tamora's dreams...

 

Little Tammy is spanked with aunty's  hairbrush at Dreams of Spanking

Tammy's Shame

Tammy's aunt is so strict. She won't even let her wear skirts inside the house. Ms Howard believes that having her knickers on display will teach Tammy some humility. Plus, it means she can't leave the house without asking permission - unless she wants to walk out of the door in her underwear!

When Ms Howard sets her a long list of rules to memorise, Tammy quickly gets bored. She wanders over to the window and sees some boys outside. She can't go out and talk to them, but she can give them a show. She waves to them, unbuttons her school blouse and quickly has their attention. With their encouragement she even pulls her bra aside to reveal her budding breasts.

Ms Howard picks just that moment to come back to see how Tammy is getting on with the rules. She is horrified to discover her niece exposing herself at the window to all and sundry. She grabs Tammy's ear and pulls out a straight backed chair. Clearly the spankings Tammy has already received have not had enough of an effect. This time, it's going to be the hairbrush, and it's going to be hard.

Little Tammy is spanked with aunty's hairbrush at Dreams of Spanking Little Tammy is spanked with aunty's  hairbrush at Dreams of Spanking
Little Tammy is spanked with aunty's  hairbrush at Dreams of Spanking

Although I've already published some hardcore photographs on this site, I've never done anything this sexually explicit on video before. Throughout my career, I've always intended to save my hardcore "virginity" for Dreams of Spanking, and have never taken things beyond softcore eroticism when modelling for other people's websites.

I've been wanting to make a film like this for years. As soon as I came up with the name "Dreams of Spanking" I knew I wanted to make films about sex and masturbation showing the fantasies of the people involved... which in my case of course is almost always spanking!

My Inner Little Girl: fantasy and reality at Dreams of Spanking My Inner Little Girl: fantasy and reality at Dreams of Spanking

I very much hope to create more explicit films in the future - specifically, I'd love to shoot some real world kinky sex videos with my real life lovers, starting with my longterm partners Tom and D. But it felt right that my first orgasm on camera should be a solo scene, directed and controlled entirely by myself. Creating this film, for me, was about empowerment, ownership and self-determination. I wrote the storyboard a long time ago, and although Tamora is a fictional character, the story expresses something true about myself. I'm glad I was able to edit this film myself to make it look exactly as I'd envisioned - even if watching my own face and chest flush as I approached orgasm was an incredibly surreal experience!

Besides, believe it or not, I was shy about shooting this film, and I felt pretty shy about releasing it, too. On the day of the shoot I wanted to feel as comfortable and relaxed as possible, and doing it solo meant I wasn't performing for anyone other than the camera, which my good friend Nimue was operating. Nimue and I have little to hide from each other these days, and of course she is no stranger to sex and masturbation on camera - in fact, I had operated the camera for a masturbation scene for her site only the day before. So asking her to return the favour felt balanced, reciprocal, and extremely safe.

My Inner Little Girl: fantasy and reality at Dreams of Spanking
My Inner Little Girl: fantasy and reality at Dreams of Spanking

Performing in porn can be a weirdly vulnerable experience at times, leaving you feeling very exposed. I hope you enjoy this film; it's very personal for me. To my relief, My Inner Little Girl has only provoked positive feedback so far, and no-one has been unkind or told me I look ridiculous.

Please do let me know if you'd like to see more films like this on Dreams of Spanking. Now that the first one is up, I think I'd really enjoy making more.

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